From the prospective of Islamic law, a woman’s primary role is that of wife and mother. ALL other considerations are secondary.
When a Muslim man decides to get married, he searches for a good wife who will also be a good mother to his future children by her. In Islam, the very first quality a man should look for in a wife is not her beauty, her wealth or family name, but how much she fears Allah (SWT) and obeys His commandments. Is she a pious Muslimah? In the words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW):
"Women may be married for four reasons: for their property, their rank, their beauty, and their religion: so get the one who is religious and prosper." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
By asking family and friends to guide him to such
a woman by word of mouth, he may then visit her family. At the same time,
if a woman’s father or guardian sees an eligible man whom he thinks
is a suitable person for his daughter, he is allowed to ask that particular
man if he would consider marrying his daughter.
Before a yes or no answer is decided upon by the woman, she should try to
find out about her prospective suitor’s background, as regards piety,
honesty, character, and whatever else might concern them as a future couple
together. This can be done by having her family speak with the man himself,
and by having them ask others about his background. The Prophet Muhammad
(SAW) said:
"When a man comes to you (seeking marriage) in whom you are satisfied with his character and religion, let him marry." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
If they eventually agree and think they might be suited to one another and are equally fearful and obedient to Allah (SWT), it is then the right of the man to see and look at the woman he plans to marry. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said:
"Have a look at her. It will be helpful in promoting love and pleasantness between you." (Sahih, reported by Al-Jami Al-Saker)
At this point, if, after seeing one another the man and woman are still interested in each other, a fixed date is set for the signing of the marriage contract, with witnesses. In addition, a certain amount of money or other items are given to the bride as a gift from the bridegroom as agreed upon between the couple and their families. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said,
"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion…" (Sahih, reported by Al-Jami Al-Saker)
Information From Questions and Answers About Women’s Rights in Islam
Compiled by Lea Zaitoun